You will immediately be welcomed with chips and two kinds of salsa. My friends and I have an ongoing debate about these salsas. We all really enjoy the red salsa but the green one is always inconsistent. I enjoy it most days but my friends are not fans. What generally happens is that we all eat up the red salsa very quickly and the green salsa is left behind. Just in case you wanted to know about the salsa eating habits of me and my friends. Enjoy.

Here is where the hair of the dog comes in. Margaritas! Below is their mango margarita. I was feeling tropical. Normally we share a pitcher or 3 of plain margaritas. That will definitely get you going on a path to boozy brunching where you step out into the sun and wonder why you are drunk at 1pm, on a Sunday afternoon. I call it church.

I can never stay away from their guacamole. It’s fresh and simple. It could use a little extra squirt of lime juice but other than that I love this stuff. It comes with chips that are a little thicker than the ones that come with the salsa. I like them better.

Heuvos dos segundos: poached eggs, sopes, Benton’s bacon, refried beans, chipotle hollandaise and breakfast potatoes. What doesn’t this dish have? I love this dish. The eggs are poached perfectly. The hollandaise has a subtle kick of chipotle so it doesn’t overwhelm the dish. I also love refried beans on pretty much anything so their inclusion in this dish makes me happy. My only minor complaint with this dish is that I wish the sopes were a little bit thinner. I find the sopa to topping ratio a little off.

Let me just get up close and personal to this Benton’s bacon. So smoky and thick, I would marry this bacon if people wouldn’t judge me for it. I would probably look a little stranger than normal carrying around a slab of this bacon. Just a little.

I believe this is the quesadilla de pollo which includes:  achiote chicken, poblano peppers, roasted corn,  and queso fresco. While I did not eat these, the picture came out so well I had to share it. I did have a bite and it was delicious. I really enjoyed the pico that was included with this dish.

Keep it boozy Philadelphia!

Cantina Dos Segundos

1. Find a dimly lit bar with a big window to watch the snow. Bonus points for having a sweet jukebox.

The Royal Tavern has both of the above. Dimly lit but has a big window so you get a feel for the snow without actually feeling the snow. I still hate being out in the snow, but I definitely like it better when I’m sitting in a bar.

2. The bar must offer some kind of warm drink involving whiskey or rum.This is also a warming mechanism. I have found that having a small amount of whiskey flowing through my veins this winter has made me a warmer person. Oh and drunker. Funny how that works.

In this instance The Royal offers a hot cider with rum. Oh and a cinnamon stick which some of my friends may or may not have taken home with them to reuse. Weirdos.

3. Indulge in some kind of comfort food. Preferably a childhood classic and a large serving of french fries. Winter = carb overload. Don’t worry, you will walk it off when you realize that Septa has shut down and you must walk most of the way home.

Vegan Sloppy Joe at The Royal. Look I can eat vegan, I swear! It was good but not great. I think I like my Sloppy Joe a little more on the sweet side. This was more on the spicy side. I still ate the whole thing. CARBS! Their fries are excellent.

4. On the second day of daytime drinking, keep it close to home. You will be exhausted from your previous snow day. Drinking indoors can be exhausting work.

Many of my wonderful South Philly and West Philly compatriots met me at my favorite bar in the city, Johnny Brenda’s. Yes it’s my favorite. You can quote me on that.

They were offering an emergency brunch. I really appreciated this because I was craving something breakfasty.

5. Move to the more brunchy cocktails. You need to slowly sip on these so take it easy. You will be marathon brunching. So have a few cups of coffee and enjoy a mimosa or Bloody Mary. Also hydrate with some water. Basically you will have like 20 beverages in front of you. This is ok.

6. Eat only dishes containing pork and potatoes. Protein for energy and carbs to absorb the booze. Right? Ok, it’s just a good combo. Also alliteration.

Do you see how much pork they have on this menu? Love. You can also get 3 different kinds of potatoes. FRENCH FRIED POTATOES, SMASHED POTATOES, AND GRATIN POTATOES.

One friend followed my strict rules and ordered the Cubano. This is a must try at JB’s. Hot pressed sandwich with pork and cheese. Fries = potatoes, in case you forgot.

Unfortunately, not all of my friends could heed my advice. Vegetarian friend got the french toast. Very good and if you prefer a sweet breakfast this will do it for you.

This is the perfect kind of breakfast for me, ham and cheesy grits. I have mentioned my love for JB’s grits. And again I will beg them to BRING BACK YOUR SHRIMP AND GRITS. COME ON!

Crispy ham, creamy grits and yolky egg.

7. Make sure you do all of the above with awesome friends who will travel miles in the snow for you and brunch for 3 hours.

This is what you get when you play around with my camera while I have stepped away. Ok clearly this logic is false because none of them were holding the camera but still they were accomplices.  Seriously though, thanks dudes for making my snow days so epic.